Because I am too exhausted to think…

We spent the day super-cleaning because the family is coming tomorrow.  So today all I have to offer you are these jokes  (which I totally stole) – I laughed, I hope you do to –

It’s the 1700’s. Two men are standing back to back with their single-shot pistols at the ready.
First man, “Why are we doing this?”
Second man, “Because you dishonored me. And also because I hate your stupid pun jokes!”
First man, “I see. So it’s a duel purpose.”

The first cat was getting ready to fly into space.
Then someone told the cat that space was a vacuum.

Does anyone remember the chiropractor joke I told about a week back?

You know how when you try to pronounce the names of your medications and accidentally summon a demon instead?

I was at a carnival with my grandson and asked him if he wanted to go into the crazy house.
He said save your money, we’ll be home soon.

I walked into a friend’s room and there was a lamp sitting on an IKEA side table box. He said he figured out you don’t actually have to assemble those things.

When a kid says, “Daddy, I want mommy”. That’s the kid version of, “I’d like to speak to your supervisor”.

I don’t need a mood ring.
I have a face.

You know you’re old when you clean to the music you used to drink to.

Did you realize that if you sit on the toilet at 11:59 and the clock strikes midnight, it’s the same shit, different day?

I’m good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.

As a kid, did you ever knock on people’s doors and run away before they could answer? Well, guess what, UPS is hiring.

Him: I got bitten on my walk by a Great Dane.
Her: My God, imagine if it had been a small child.
Him: I could have fought off a small child.

I’m looking for the book Ventriloquism for Dummies.

If any of you non-rich people want to go to space for 10 minutes, I know a good brownie recipe.

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and say “skip intro” when they start talking to you.

Quotidian

Don’tcha just love that word? It means: of or occurring everyday; daily. Ordinary or everyday, especially when mundane. Perfect word for me because ordinary and mundane is not just in my wheelhouse, it IS my wheelhouse.

Today’s mundanity – (yeah, that’s a word, I looked it up.)

🛁 Microfiber cleaning cloths – I have extolled their virtues before and I just get delighted by them almost every day. (talk about mundane, right? I lead such an exciting life that cleaning cloths delight me…so sad!)

Anyway, I now use them as washcloths, so much nicer than those thick terry cloth washcloths. (Everyone doesn’t call everything by the same name, by ‘washcloth’ I am talking about that cloth you use in the shower or bath to clean yourself with.) (Ending a sentence with a preposition – used to be a big no-no, now it’s perfectly okay, and I say “Why not – what’s the big deal” and then I hear in my head “That is something up with which I will not put” Supposedly Winston Churchill said that.)

It looks like you are getting two posts in one – the second one being parenthetical.

As I was saying, microfiber cloths make wonderful washcloths because they are thin and fit in all the little cracks and crevices so nicely. They are super soft. They rinse out nicely and dry quickly and never get smelly. So.

Oh, I’ve got some bad news for all y’all – I ordered a lapel mic which means I might be doing more tawky posts. I’m hoping the lapel mic will eliminate that echo I get when I record using my computer’s internal microphone. Or maybe I’ll do half tawky, half write-y posts.

Oh, yeah – one more thing. I added a widget to follow/subscribe to this blog via email in the footer (I hate sidebars) and like 4 people have already signed up – how cool is that? Okay, two of those people are my friends but still – fun.

It’s 4:30-ish in the afternoon and for some strange reason I am feeling a little whacky – Goofball time! I guess I’ll go annoy my husband since I’m just about done here annoying you –