Antsy, edgy and anxious

Been this way for over a week. It’s annoying. The most minor thing can piss me off, like another bad book. Somewhere I saw a recommendation for a book, “The Last Bookshop in London” by Madeline Martin. I couldn’t find a reputable book review to link to – but if you have ever read just ONE WWII based in London romance or just ONE book about book stores in London (aside from “84, Charing Cross Road” by Helene Hanff) then you have read this book. A plot/storyline so hackneyed that it almost makes “See Spot run” seem fresh. Plus the writing is flat and stilted. Pfft!

Our apartment overlooks the parking/lot delivery area and it is usually very noisy. Then there are the 747-sized lawn mowers followed by the leaf blowers, not to mention the car alarms. Even with the windows closed the noise can drive a person batty. Today – deathly quiet. Not a sound! It’s 85º with 72% humidity so the windows are closed and the a/c is on but not on. I just checked the thermostat here in my office – it is set at 70º but the a/c is not running. There is a weird HVAC system in this building and the heat and a/c are tied into the outside temperature (or maybe that’s how all HVAC systems work? I don’t know). So the outside quiet is enhanced with the inside quiet. All is quiet. Not even sounds from people in the hallways. It is spooky.

My husband’s bronchoscopy has finally been scheduled for September 1st. This has been pending since the end of June. His doctor said someone from the office would call to set the appointment – 6 weeks went by, no call. I had my husband call them and it was all “OMG – Why didn’t you call sooner. Somehow your paperwork didn’t get sent through.” Blaming the patient – that’s a good look.  That will tell us if the spots on his lungs are a lung infection or something worse, like, you know cancer. None of this seems to faze my husband while I’m all – antsy, edgy and anxious.

I miss my cat so much. I still hear her rambling around at night, scratching in the litter box.

I wish I had something fun and upbeat to end up with but I just have a super huge case of the blahs…

11 thoughts on “Antsy, edgy and anxious

  1. Antsy, edgy and anxious are never fun. I could have used some of that total quiet yesterday. They were digging up my yard to replace the gas line and Gibbs was barking constantly. It was driving me crazy.
    How can your husband be so calm about not knowing what spots are? I would be stressing

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    1. It’s a good thing I pushed my husband to call otherwise it would never have gotten done…I shouldn’t grump, doctors and their staff are overwhelmed especially pulmonologists! It was a clerical error and thankfully not a medical error. I don’t expect any good news, he already has COPD…but that is all weeks away.

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  2. I hope you come across a good book soon so you can get lost in the pages and maybe forget your worries for awhile.

    It doesn’t make sense to me that if your a/c is set to 70 it wouldn’t run until the inside temperature was 70. I don’t have experience with apartment HVACs though but it seems to not do what the thermostat tells it to do! It was low 70s today so we didn’t have fans on and J mentioned how quiet it was. The only sound was Lexi snoring!

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    1. We don’t control when we have heat or a/c because all utilities are included in our condo fees – when heat is available it will only go on when the outside temperature is below 60, I have no idea how the a/c works – one would think that if the outside temp is 85, the a/c would go on if the thermostat is set to 70 and it is very warm inside. Maybe we need new thermostats!

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  3. Oops! That book recommendation came from me. I’m easily impressed by books…the only criteria that it holds my attention long enough to finish it. I am definitely not a connoisseur by any means.

    I do hope all goes well for G. Isn’t it astounding how I phased husbands can be. It irks me that mine refuses any kind of medical assistance. Our big sticking point at the moment is his refusal to get vaccinated. With the kids returning to school soon I am very, very, very worried they will bring it home to him. So worried in fact that it is beginning to affect my health (stress induced high BP), and my mental health (anxiety). Bad husbands!!!!

    I am sorry you are having the blahs, I can relate. It’s a bad space right now for so many. And while I can’t fix it for you, I do hope you know you are loved and thought of daily.

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    1. I could have sworn I saw a review of that book on one of the book review blogs I read. I have no idea what impressed you about that book my dear. I should make a list of well-written WWII London books, or bookstore books – try
      “The Bookshop of Yesterdays” by Amy Meyerson, not London, or WWII but a lovely bookstore book. There is always “84, Charing Cross Road” . Your library should have both books to borrow. I’m surprised at Mark – ‘nuf said.
      Also – 💜💛

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