Soup is not a meal

What is it with people and soup? Soup is not food, or a meal. A meal is something which, at the very least, one eats with a fork. It is solid and substantial. Anything not served on a plate with a fork is something else. A snack.  Dessert. Something one eats to assuage one’s hunger until one can eat a meal.

Food and eating is psychological for me. I don’t feel like I’ve ‘eaten’ unless I’ve a fork in my hand. Sandwiches, some of which I enjoy, are also not a meal, they are a stop-gap.

If it’s a liquid then it’s a drink, not a meal. Not food. It’s something else and not satisfying. Psychologically I don’t feel like I’ve eaten. Thankfully I’m aware that, on the rare occasions when a meal has consisted of soup and a sandwich, I have eaten and I’m no longer physically hungry. Else I would continue to seek out ‘food’ and a ‘meal’.

Grilled cheese sandwich and soup – not a meal. Yet hunger assuaged therefore no looking for lamb chops and a nice veg.

Spoons are for eating ice cream. I was never much of a cereal eater because that usually involved milk and I don’t drink milk (lactose intolerant). So I’ve never associated any kind of meal with liquids and spoons.

I didn’t grow up eating a lot of soup – Campbell’s tomato soup – made with milk – ugh. Made with water – double ugh. Either way it always upset my stomach and yet it was the only soup I remember as a kid.

Being Italian and all, sometimes lunch would be like an antipasto – sopressata, provolone, pepperoncini, artichoke hearts, chunks of lovely Italian bread – still some of that eaten with forks and some with one’s hands. A meal? Yes and no, it was still a sort-of antipasto and therefore not a whole meal.

But soup? No – soup is not a meal, I don’t even consider it food. It’s just a bowl of liquid with a hodge-podge of stuff floating in it.

Lately I’ve seen recipes for soup that have leafy vegetables in it. Seriously? Soggy leafy vegetables floating in a bowl of liquid? This you eat and say “Yum”? And then the leafy vegetable of choice being kale? Anyone who says they like kale is lying. No one with active taste buds likes kale. Plus it will do a number on your digestive system, and not a number you will like. Oh my lord, NO to effin’ kale. I don’t think even garlic and olive oil would make kale palatable. Kale is like the old prank joke no soap, radio. But I digress, as  I usually do.

It seems I have reached the end of what I had to say – soup is not a meal, or really any part of a meal. If anyone wants to try and convince me otherwise, don’t bother. And kale was invented by the devil and he laughs his ass off every time someone buys into it being something edible.

It just crossed my mind that there is something called Devil’s Food Cake – which is chocolate and chocolate is the invention of angels. So why do they call Angel’s Food Cake, which is NOT chocolate, angel’s food? Makes no sense.

Send chocolate – but dark chocolate, not milk chocolate because I don’t like milk.

Chocolate – I need chocolate!